I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
