You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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