i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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