I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
