I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
