ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
