Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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