I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
