Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
