I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
