found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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