She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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