he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
