so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
