You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
