we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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