you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the condom got lost in my hair
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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