So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
