She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
