Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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