We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
