You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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