I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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