separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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