My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
