I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
