Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
