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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
