She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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