Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
