sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
