I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Randomize
