Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
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she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
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There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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