I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
