We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sorry my hands just texted you
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
