i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
dude. I can hear the air.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
