I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
