I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
you never un-have a 4some
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize