Michael Bay diarrhea
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
