You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
