Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
