now i know why i became what i already was.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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