It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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