distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
