This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
