Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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