Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
