I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
