do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
