so explain again why im purple
no
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
