you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
