im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize