Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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