Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
accomplished twins. life is a go
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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