i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
