just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
