Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
