If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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