he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
