I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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